the musicians

♬

dear reader, this post comes to you courtesy of two interviews, both with a Bristol musician who has kindly consented to my lines of questioning. the reason for their coupling should be evident within their responses; both provided honest answers, and they contrast each other without really ever disagreeing. to me, this is of interest, and my conversations with the pair were of an easy nature. links to their music will be attached at the bottom. enjoy!

♬

Q: Do you feel you've achieved relative success in Bristol?

SE: I think that there is a level of success and obviously it's a spectrum depending on your definition of it- I would say I've made achievements. I've succeeded in developing myself as a songwriter and as a performer.

AA: Personally, within my band very much so. How often we get booked, the type of bills we get and the amount of queer events we've been asked to take part in. We're fairly well known. But personally, i've only just started doing my solo and it's hard to market yourself. After you get your foot in the door people will carry you and help you through. I wasn't expecting that but we're all friends at the end of the day. As a developing artist, Bristol's where i've come to be who I am today.

Q: Do you think people have an interest in what you have to say, musically?

SE: Yeah and I think that's evidenced from feedback I've received. People saying they resonate with certain sections. I think everyone finds their own thing in songs, and their own meaning. I think it's easier if you're honest and you're writing about personal experience. I've pushed and challenged myself with the music. I would say I'm part honest and part creative in my lyrics- there's always a sense of building a metaphor around the truth in order to create a better vehicle for a story. 

AA: With the song Shut The Fuck Up Bitch, people come up to me and say that it was sick. At one gig these 50 year old feminist women came up to me and said "we wish we could say that every day!". It's very empowering to play. It's a nice feeling- when I wrote it I asked people to contribute their experiences, and it's very empowering to sing it with Julia at the end of the live show.

Q: Are you scared?

SE: Yeah, I think you never know what the future holds- it's both exciting and scary. It's partly what you make it. 

AA: Of the world, of failure. Having to move home. Failure is not doing what I want to do because i'm too scared to do it. Bombing or giving up. It's more scary to lose the artistry before i've had the chance to give it a good go. One must persevere. 

Q: Do you compare yourself a lot to the people around you?

SE: Not as much as other people do, although there is an element of comparison. I can be quite self-centered when it comes to my own creative output. I trust my own ear and creative ideas.

AA: Yeah. It doesn't take up a lot of energy or mind space. The first time I saw Eva Penney I thought fuck she's doing exactly what I want to do but better. And now she's my friend. It's not from a jealousy point of view, more inspiring. It makes me want to work harder. I'm doing this five piece EP about grief and i'm just trying to learn as much as I can before I leave uni. 

Q: Do you think you're gonna make it?

SE: I want to say yes. There are certain opportunities that are available that mean that I could. That has two meanings- do you think you or things outside of your control will make you successful? 

AA: Um, I hope to make it to a level that is sustainable- if I make it I hope to be on someone's team or working at a level wherein i've garnered respect. To get that validation from other people. Self Esteem is one of my favourite artists and people care what she has to say and she has these friends around her. That's making it for me.

Q: Do you have regrets?

SE: There's things that I've learned from, but they can be called lessons. As long as you come out of a regret with a lesson then you can lay it to rest as a regret.

AA: Especially with uni, I stuck my feet in the ground and thought it wasn't for me for so long. The panic of leaving I guess- I'm getting into production now, and I think fuck it let's just give it a go. My regret is not trying for fear of failure. 

Q: What are you most proud of?

SE: My individuality. As I've said before- my drive and my vision, and following that without distractions that might draw me away from it. Rightly or wrongly choosing my own path.

AA: I'm proud of myself for making it through. I came here freshly eighteen, I'm proud of the growth I've had. Musically I'm just myself. In first year I thought I was shit, but now I'm much better.

Q: What's the dream?

SE: Spending the majority of time on things that I enjoy and earning a living on things that I enjoy. 

AA: Having a house that I own, and has loads of pets that I can come back to after I've gone on tour. America, Sweden, anywhere that success will take me. A band that I can work with and make me bigger and better where I can just sing my silly songs (that aren't silly at all, they're very deep), and people are like "she's so sick I love her". And I'll be like I love you too! And a wife. I can dream big, right?

Q for Sean only: Why the lazy boy aesthetic?

SE: Because it's part of me. Maybe because i'm a bit of an underdog to the outside and that's how I come across, which may contrast the efforts from my output. Proving that that's the opposite from my work. I could have a lazy and mumbling tone in conversation and then thats contrasted within the show. I'm quite a stoic.

Q for Anya only: Is it harder being queer?

AA: I don't think it's hard anymore. I don't think it's that insane anymore. I'm full on lesbian- currently available but non-practicing. Honestly it's refreshing and fun and exciting. I haven't experienced doors being closed because of it, and it's a niche now so it's more commercial. The lesbian renaissance of 2024 means that lesbians are back and rising up within common culture. They're just all over the place. Every corner. 

Q: What drives you?

SE: The feeling of writing a good song and performing it- it's elating. It's a rush; I get a bit teary when I'm recording a vocal of a lyric that means something to me. Empathising in other artists who have that moment and have turned it into something bigger. I used to get emotional when I whole crowd like at a Mumford and Sons concert would roar with applause and it's nice that people understood it and the band received that response. It makes me feel like I'd love to garner that emotion.

AA: The fact that I don't want to do a nine to five and this is all I can and want to do. Songwriting is not a hobby it's a practice and always has been. It's a necessity. Also, i'm an attention whore. I found the spotlight as a child dancer and I wanted it and I can admit that! Performing is nerve wracking but I love it- I can't keep anything to myself and need to share it with everyone. In the form of my music.

Q: Do you think people have a misconception of you?

SE: In general humans often do no matter how hard you might construct yourself- people will project their own meaning onto you. I don't see it as a barrier because I can't change it.

AA: Yeah. Maybe this is my construction of their misconception- i'm quite abrasive and i ask weird things because I don't care about small talk. I'm quite a full-on person, people have called me intimidating. I really am a lover underneath it all. If i'm being mean to you it's probably because I don't like you. I don't have the energy or ability to be fake. "How are you"? Terrible question. I ask weird questions.

Q: Do you have nightmares?

SE: Not as much lately. But sometimes. Being chased and you're not fast enough to get away. I must've been about seven- this image of a dark hole and a coffin falling down it. At that age you have the idea of a coffin symbolising life, and it infinitely falling was creepy in itself. Simple but eerie and creepy. 

AA: Yes. It's usually about running away from something or being attacked. I'm not a lucid dreamer, I do get shot at.

Q: Do you daydream?

SE: I often have a dream of it but sometimes I think about it- being that band on a stage with the audience singing back to you and understanding the message. Getting it. 

AA: I'm constantly zoning out but I don't think that's the same thing. I'm usually living in the present moment.

Q: Where is your happy place?

SE: Either walking through a forest or just by the sea. To me, it hasn't mattered about it being a certain location just a nice coastline and some cliffs or a deep forest where you can be at one with nature. Anywhere where I can be out and get fresh air and take in what's around me. I sued to spend hours alone wandering London and admiring the architecture and coffee shops.

AA: My bed? But also somewhere in nature, I'd say in peace and quiet but with headphones on. Somewhere with a breeze and grass. I'd love to say the sea, but I hate the beach. Before I left for uni I went to a beach called Teesmouth, and there's loads of industry on the horizon and it's just a little pocket. The sun had set and I was watching the boats and it felt like home- I'm from quite an industrial town. Sometimes I think about going there and trying to skip stones.

Q: Is there anything you'd like to say to the dearest reader?

SE: Be your own best friend.

AA: I hope some of this was insightful and I hope you think I'm cool- can we be friends?

♬

Sean Edwards Music

Annya Augusta & The Freakshow Music