the progress

 

well, folks, we've just passed the one week marker of our new year! hip hip hooray to all!

i have embarked on my own ambitious attempt already of the holy trinity's dry january (booze, weed, caffeine) and it's lovely. i am currently reading Donna Tartt's "The Secret History" and i've read 168 pages in the last three days. my skin is healing and glowing, and the doctors have prescribed a supposed antidote for my precarious and pesky ovaries, which i shall collect in the coming days. i'm preparing for my first solo gig in two years which i'm extremely excited for, and my presentation for my assignment today went swimmingly. 

i've been drinking lots of water, decaf tea. i've been eating healthily and abstaining from crisps & chocolate. i've deleted snapchat, instagram, facebook. i cant seem to shake tiktok because the cat videos are just too funny, but i figure i'll leave it behind in the next few days, too. there's a quiet stillness in my mind that i haven't felt for a while and it's lovely. i saw friends and acquaintances today and for the first time in years i spoke... normally. i didn't feel nervous, i wasn't awkward. i was perfectly polite and lovely. i didn't criticise a man instinctively because hes a man, i didn't grow shy around a woman because shes a woman. i read my book, i smiled at nice people, and i spoke with confidence. 

i can feel myself growing. i want to learn again. i'm keen to progress. to continue. and i'm being cared for- by friends (sorch, rose, especially) and my gentle bluebird who promises to look after me and provide a beautiful life. amen to that.

to you lovely swell fellows who now have post notifications enabled, thanks! that's super cool. (whoever you are!). my bed is neat and tidy and i'm ready to read again. a good days work has been done today, and another will be done tomorrow. i welcome it. i hope josh is doing okay.

sincerely, the caravan girl.